Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster...

Holy shit! I'm not dead! Haha. Sorry...just haven't really had the inspiration to write. However, me and the bf are having a bit of a fight and I'm feeling really sad, so I thought I would vent...and post something I came across in some of my old high school stuff. It's a little diddy (not about Jack and Diane) that an ex (my first serious boyfriend) wrote to me. He was an amazingly sweet guy that I did not deserve in the slightest and whose heart I fractured into a million little pieces. Ironically, I have not had anything sweeter written to/about me since this. Guess that's my little FU from karma. Anywho, here it is.

The way her hair points down into her eyes.

How her smile can appear and disappear at complete randomness.

How when she remembers something, her whole body is alert.

How she walks, so careless and graceful, when she has no real objective.

How she and her dad notice the littlest things with each other.

How when she is with Jenny*, I almost see the motherhood in her.

How she says "I love you, too" so quietly and serenely.

How she lays her head on my chest

The way she tries to disguise certain things, but isn't embarrassed when I figure out what they are.

How she knows when I get jealous and tries to change it for me.

How she writes her thoughts and isn't ashamed of it.

How she makes everything seem like it's going to be okay, no matter what it is.

How she makes light of all unemotionally painful situations.

How I occasionally remember that she's a part of me when I feel low, and then feel an uncontrollable desire to see her.

The way her frame feels in mine, absorbed in emotion, her lips on mine, the impulsive kisses and hugs

When she pokes me (yes, I love it)

How she gets a look of joyful defeat when I poke her last

How she respects every bad mistake I've made

When she thinks about me; when she knows she needs to.

She's tall. I finally have someone tall to hug!

How she knows she can keep the promises she makes.

Her. I just love her so much.

~♥~



*My youngest sister...not her real name. She was about a year old or so when we were dating.

I'm alive...I'm just lazy. Deal with it.

I really don't have much to say...got a job at Sheetz today. It's a convenience store...kinda like that Walla-something place. Anywho...so I got that going for me.

In other news, I'm sad. On facebook (I really wish browsers would fucking accept that "facebook" is an actual word and is spelled correctly) I saw a friend of mine wrote a new blog. I checked it out. She dedicated it to a mutual friend of ours, who passed away last March. Here is her memorial to him. If you would like to see his blog page, go here. And this is the post I wrote about him. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him in some way. I don't even think of my grandmother as much as him...he made that much of an impact on my life. Miss you buddy.

Sorry to get all down on you...here's a video of a monkey playing with a puppy to cheer you up!

~♥~

Two posts in one day? She must be on crack...

All I really wanted was to post some pics...so here ya go:

Random Observations: Part I

1) I'm a total spaz...I shaved today. And since I was in a hurry and used a new razor, I nicked myself a few times. It was in the usual areas: ankle, shin, and knee...but on BOTH legs. Well, I forgot about them by the time I got out of the tub. I dry off a bit, throw on my (freshly washed) bathrobe, and go to my room to check my phone. I sit down and notice I have blood on my leg. I move my robe to find my legs looking as if I just walked off the set of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There was so much blood. AND I got blood all over my bathrobe. Sadness. Also, I have "the itch." Lovely.

2) Have any of you seen that commercial on CBS about going to get a prostate exam? OMG...creepiest commercial ever! "This year, forget about diamonds...give her the family jewels." How does that guy sleep at night? It's just weird.

3) I know I've really been slacking lately, but I have a really good excuse. See, my computer at home sucks big fat donkey dick and is slower than molasses in February. So I hate using it for anything other than playing turns on KoL. RD's computer is in his basement, or what I affectionately refer to it as, The Ice Dungeon. Seriously, there are days when it is warmer outside than it is down there...and keep in mind, it's winter in Western PA. I really don't have a lot of good outlets with which to bring my blogging goodness to you. So, unless one of you is willing to buy me a laptop, you'll just have to suffer with my laziness.

4) I would post more, but I have an hour and a half to take a poop, get a shower, get dressed, put on my make-up, and dry/straighten my hair before I leave to run errands...not a lot of time for me. Guarantee I will not leave the house until after 1, my target time. I have absolutely no concept of time at all. I'm late for everything. It really sucks.

~♥~

Shut up and eat your cupcake!

First...have I mentioned I quit smoking? I think I did a few days ago. Anywho, it fucking sucks. Seriously. Don't get me wrong...I know I'm already healthier, but I really want a cigarette. Fortunately, though, have yet to kill or maim anyone. Of course, I haven't really been around the public much, so that's probably helping.


Onto what this post is really about. I have TONS of pipe-dreams. I come  up with these crazy ideas of what I want to do for a living, and then never follow through with them. It happens all of the time. I became a consultant for Tastefully Simple...did anyone buy my shit? Fuck no. I don't think one person on my friends list on Facebook even checked out my site. Fuckers. Now I'll become inactive because I didn't sell enough product.

But one thing I've been wanting to do for some time now is open a cupcake shop. I know that owning a business is a tough job...I also know that owning and running a bakery is even tougher. But I am 100% willing to put everything I have into this. I really really want to do this. My mom laughs when I mention it, and even RD has to roll his eyes occasionally, because he knows what I'm like. I don't follow things through. I'm going to do this, though.

So far, I have a name and some ideas of what kind of cupcakes to make. I know, I know...I need an education as a pastry chef, some sort of business experience, an actual plan, and some start-up capital before this can even become a reality, but I want to get these ideas going so I have something to strive for.

I've decided to name my store "Shut-up and Eat Your Cupcake." I was watching an episode of "The Best Thing I Ever Ate" and Ted Allen was talking about this cupcake from some bakery in NYC or somewhere. He made the comment "Shut up and eat your cupcake." I turned to RD and said "Oh my god...that's what I'm naming my store." He rolled his eyes and made some patronizing comment and thought that was the end of it. Haha. If only...I pull out my day planner and start asking him what kinds of cupcakes he would like to eat. It's gotten to the point where he's been naming the most disgusting things you can think of: blood cupcake with come icing, roadkill cupcake with a putrefying gut ganache...you get the picture. I think he's a little sick of my questions.

Anyway...the whole reason for writing this post was to have all of you weigh in on this. I'm going to list the cupcakes I've already come up with. Here's where you come in. I want you to tell me your opinion on the ones I come up with, and also give me some ideas for what you would like to eat. I'm not going to do that on this post; I'm going to create  new page and do it on there. I've already rambled too much on this one. Haha.

The page is up, so please feel free to check it out. Thanks!

~♥~

PUPPY!!!!!!

The following pics are of my boyfriend's (and mine...hehe) puppy. Her name is Blaze and she is an Australian Shepherd mix. Her age in the pics ranges from 2-4 months. I'm sure I'll be taking more pics soon.

Aww...

Cutest position ever.

So cute.

Looking for RD.

Such a good little girl

Too freakin cute!

She LOVES the snow.

See what I mean?

Trying to catch a snowball...

...almost...

...not quite there...

...she got it!!!

~♥~

Before I hear "Will you marry me?"...

...I'm gonna have to start asking "Do you want fries with that?" RD informed me that the only thing stopping him from asking me to marry him was my lack of job and vehicle. It's not a material thing...he's just worried about me being able to pull my weight once I move in. And I totally agree with him. I want to be able to help with bills and the mortage, etc. But I can't in my current situation. I need to fix that. He said he'll help me in any way he can. He told me he really really loves me and wants to see me do the best I can in life.

I'm also pretty sure that I'm only going to have to get a car. He made a comment about how even if I were to move in tomorrow, I could get a job right in town, but how would I get there? So I'm thinking that all I'm going to need to do is save up to either get my car fixed, or see if I can afford a new one. I think I just need to show him I'm capable of saving money.

I'm just stoked that he wants to marry me. I was so worried about that for the longest time. In fact, I've almost given up hope that he was going to ask. That's why I've been slacking off on my "housekeeping:" I haven't been cleaning like I used to, or making sure dinner is almost ready when he gets home. I just thought, if he doesn't want to marry me, "what's the point?"

This really is going to help with my one resolution...I'm quitting smoking. So far it's been almost three days. I told him that I was doing it for me, but also for any kids we might have. I want to make sure I'm as healthy as I can be when I do end up getting pregnant. I'm already going to be almost 30 by the time that happens...I don't want anything to go wrong because of something I can prevent now. RD thinks it's a really good idea. He said he'll support me in any way he could. I have the best guy in the world. :-)

~♥~