Monday, September 13, 2010

The Celtic Storm

Today is my best friend's 30th birthday. There won't be any cake or presents. There won't be any singing. No getting older jokes will be told. There won't be any group of friends getting together to surprise him at his favorite bar with PBR pounders and duck-pin bowling. There won't be raucous bouts of laughter as he tells "The Infamous Midget Story" for the millionth time. There won't be any hugs and well wishes as he embarks on his 30th year.

There won't be any of these things because my best friend passed away this March.

Not a day goes by that I don't miss him. I only knew him for a few years, but I knew I could tell him anything. And after he stopped laughing at my stupidity, he would always give me some of the best advice ever. A lot of people who casually knew him would say that he was an asshole. Yeah, he could be sometimes, but underneath all of that was the kindest, most warm-hearted person I have ever known. He cared about his friends tremendously and considered many of them the family he didn't have.

He lived a hard life and had the most screwed up past that no one should have to deal with. But somehow he always came out of every situation with a hilarious story. He gave his writing one of the most unique voices I have ever come across. He one day dreamed of collecting all of his stories together for a book. He wanted a house, a wife, and kids. He had big plans for himself.

But he had demons that wouldn't let him go, and they eventually took his life.  It hurts me so much to think that no one was there with him at the end. At the time, I hadn't seen him in almost a year. Every time we would make plans to get together, something would fall through and we'd reschedule. I will admit, some of those times, I just didn't feel like going out, so I made an excuse. I can't tell you how much I regret that.

My best friend taught me that not everything is sunshine and rainbows. Life isn't always "happy unicorn land." But no matter what life throws at you, you have to look at what you will get out of it in the end. How will this make me a better person? Though his stories were usually hilarious, they always had a moral at the was sometimes a totally hilarious and twisted one, but a moral none the less.

Happy Birthday, Sean. I love you.

Later lovelies.

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